I’ve been listless, achy and generally feeling under the weather. I thought it was the greys of November and just the arrival of the true damp cool of winter.
But then I wanted to chew ice cubes! Pagophagia
Pagophagia is a form of the disorder pica involving the compulsive consumption of ice or iced drinks. It has been associated with iron deficiency anemia, and shown to respond to iron supplementation
I ran out of iron supplements during the election, and as always, budgeting looks at priorities and the adrenalen was keeping me going and I wasn’t listening to my body.
But now I feel the ache and muscle tiredness and I took a another gym break, thinking I’d just jumped back into too hard after a month off. But low iron and low Bs would explain it. (Ran out of the Bs last week)
I’m also really hungry, all the time. Like growling tummy hungry, not bored mindless eating hungry.
Near the end of the election my blepharospasm started back up again. I wasn’t surprised, it’s a twitch directly related to stress levels. But it hasn’t stopped.
The benign essential blepharospasm is a focal dystonia—a neurological movement disorder involving involuntary and sustained contractions of the muscles around the eyes. The term essential indicates that the cause is unknown, but fatigue, stress, or an irritant are possible contributing factors.
My poor body, it needs to scream at me for me to listen to it.
I am also intelligent, educated and successful. To look at me, one might never guess that I am a successful director at a large corporation or that I gave up a child for adoption or that I survived kidney failure and a lifesaving kidney transplant. You probably also would not guess that I speak Arabic and was an interpreter on an archaeology dig in Syria. Would you guess I have been married twice and that I was an accomplished athlete? I have many stories, but because I am fat, you may never know these things about me.
…I am amazed at how inferior I feel now. I feel invisible. People avoid eye contact with me. I am often treated rudely or dismissed.
Getting back into my fitness routine again.
The election campaign was incredibly busy, the job was incredibly busy and something had to give, so I stopped going to the gym except for swimming one day a week.
In reflection I’m impressed at how little this break seemed to affect me physically. I expected muscle tone loss, weight gain and generally feeling terrible.
But I remained strong, I had stamina to keep the pace up and on the days I swam, I felt as I’d felt for the past year: capable and strong.
I don’t know why I thought I’d totally fall apart if I didn’t keep up the intensity, I guess I felt it was black or white. You were either a gym rat and fit, or you were not and therefore super unhealthy.
I’m pleased. I have trouble taking a break because I’m afraid I will go back to who I was. But now I know what’s been done, can’t be so easily be undone.
So I swam Thursday as per usual, and Friday I did the 6:30 am Yoga class. OMG, we focused on abdominal and core and here it is Sunday mornign and I’m still aching. But it’s a nice feeling. And the stretching of the yoga class is what I need at the end of a week. Really enjoying it.
So we’re back at it! And the scale is moving again!
I was unsuccessful in my election bid.
So the focus on my health will return. Stay tuned for ramblings on stress and how running a campaign affected my health and fitness goals, both negatively and positively.
I’ve missed my gym time and can’t wait to get back at it.
I really need to increase my sleep first. Averaging 5 hours in the last few weeks has not been good.
Election day was hard from a “don’t eat your anxiety” perspective, but I managed.
Today I renew the focus back to these goals, as the election goal is completed.